The Anxiety/Bravery Cycle
Today I want to talk to you about something I am calling the "anxiety / bravery cycle" - I don't know if it's a real term but this is something that happens to me often and I created this doodle after having yet another anxiety attack from having to do something I really didn't want to do, but had to because it was part of running my business! So it goes like this...
1. So it always starts with the idea or the thing that I need to do!
2. After that comes a lot of prcrastination, because when I dread something I will put off doing it for as long as possible.
3. I have generalised anxiety disorder so next I will worry about it constantly.
4. The next thing I do is think about all the different scenarios that could happen in my head - I reenact all the situations about doing the thing, how it could go - does it go well? Does it go awful? In my case I usually imagine the worst case scenarios, so I can prepare myself for these. This is actually called 'catastrophising'.
5. After this I do plan to do the thing, because more often than not it actually needs to be done!
6. Then I procrastinate some more!
7. Next up, as if out of nowhere, somehow, I find my brave. It can come anytime, from anywhere. Sometimes it happens after I speak to people who help give me some self esteem - usually in this is my Patrons! Then I do the thing!! WOOHOO.
8. Straight after I do the thing, I panic - pure panic, and hide. I turn off all my social media, and go hide under a blanket, usually in my bed and watch Harry Potter! - I always need some time to myself as doing the brave thing zaps A LOT of energy from me!
9. After a while, I feel some joy, I feel pride but I have a foggy anxiety headache mixed in with this joy.
.... and then I know, at some point. I have to do it all again.
but each time I do this, it gets a little easier...